So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
