He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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