God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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