"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
