Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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