i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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