so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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