I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
