dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Randomize
