I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
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She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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