fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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