She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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