btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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