Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
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BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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