we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
