I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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