have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
