I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
