...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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