Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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