Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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