I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Randomize