I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
