When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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