he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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