It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
