i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
