I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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