Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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