She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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