Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
The Olympian is in my bed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
