i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
