btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
