He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She bit a glass in half.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
