Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize