Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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