Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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