Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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