What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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