I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
