Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
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