I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
