I think scott just propositioned me for sex
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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