I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize
