is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
