she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
