how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
