I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
