somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
