is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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