Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
