I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
