So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize