Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
