so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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