i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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