drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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