Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
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