why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
