Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
