Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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