Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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