I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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