Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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