It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I will pee on everything he values.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
