Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Quick, to the slutcave!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
